The Cleanse: Soap Box Thoughts and the Diet Details.

<> At the end of this Soap Box reel, I post the details on how to do the diet.

              “If you’re going to die you might as well die happy,” over and over again, throughout the years, I have heard people say this in defense of their poor choices and poor lifestyles. They say it as they reach for one more piece of cheesecake, for the video game remote to play one more round of Halo or World of Warcraft that lasts until 4am, for the computer to check on Facebook for the umpteen time, for the joint as their children sleep idly in the next room, or for the bottle to have just one more glass. They say it as they decide to live their lives gorging on fried foods, smoking marijuana, or playing video games day in day out. They say it in defense of their half-lives and poor choices. They say it so they go on living only halfway because it’s easier, because they think these choices are their survival. Complacency is easy and in their “survival” they fail to see they are drowning.

             We all get there, to that complacent place at some point in our lives and then in defense of our complacency we say, “If you’re going to die, you might as well die happy.” We spin the entire meaning of a phrase to fit our poor choices. It’s curious, when did we start thinking that complacency was happiness? It’s not. We have to stop acting like it. When did survival mean to barely be living, to merely be getting by? If that’s the case, I want to do more than just survive.

Before my grandfather passed he said something like, “so what? I did this to myself. I kept drinking and I did this to myself. I could have stopped but I didn’t. I did this to myself. And now I’m going to die. I should have stopped.” It’s not simple, life. We make it complicated because it’s not easy to put down the bottle or cheesecake or video game or the FB, but we’ve got to do it. In the end, we’ve only ourselves to blame. We’re drowning ourselves. We have to stop half living, wake up, and get that focus.

“If you’re going to die you might as well die happy,” use it right or get rid of the saying. Don’t say it so you can sit on the couch instead of doing something, so you can feel better about smoking marijuana and taking some pills instead becoming something better for the people sleeping in the next room, so you can drink again because it makes it easier to forget the hard stuff, so you can play a video game because you have gone numb, so you can scarf down another piece of pie because “you love your curves,” or so you can go on facebook again and again to keep from feeling lonely. Say it so you can do something about your life, say it to stop holding yourself back. The problem with this saying is that it’s a dismissal. It allows us to dismiss negative actions. It’s too content to let things sit as they are. There are so many people just half living out there, going through the motions, never feeling anything more the average. But the truth is, they only have themselves to blame.

Everything in moderation, have these things but do it right. If they're not advancing you then they are not worth your time. You’re not even living. You’re just sitting there numb. When you shovel that food in, spend 9 hours on some game, check FB, smoke the night away, you’re not living. When we do these things we’re taking who we are and making it less. We’re less than existing. So get off the damn couch, get away from the brightly lit screen, get that damn cheese cake you were given for your birthday off the damn table, take a slice of it to savor and send the rest off to friends. Share the things that make you happy. Trust me it’s worth it. And find something else, that makes you more than just complacent. Happiness isn’t easy, you have to work for it or else would it really be worth having. When use this saying and you’re using it just to defend some crap ass choice, realize that that’s easy. Stop living for the after life, the tomorrows, because “if you’re going to die you might as well die happy.” Fight for it. Who ever heard of a dead person who was happy anyways? Not I. Besides, you’re right; you’re going to die so you might as well FIGHT YOUR ASS OFF TO LIVE! Really live.

My complacency brought me to the cleanse to find a clear mind and focus. It worked. Here are the details:

The Cleanse instructions/ recipes: 

The Night Before Day 1: Drink a natural herbal laxative tea. 

Days 1-10:  

       Morning: Every morning drink 1 quart of fresh water with two tablespoons of sea salt mixed in. 

          Day: Throughout the day as you get hungry drink a that you'll make lemonade juice (instructions are below). Consume 6-12 glasses (their about a cup each. You'll drink less in the beginning and more as the time goes on, I try to maintain my at no more than 8. During this attempt I never drank more than 6 glasses.

         Night: At night the tea. :)

Days 11 & 12: Phasing off the Diet.  On day 11, drink OJ all day long. You'll drink about 8 glasses. On day 12: drink OJ for breakfast and lunch. Around noonish begin making the soup (instructions below). The soup should take a few hours to make. Eat the soup for dinner, but eat mostly broth. 

Day 13: OJ in the morning soup for lunch and dinner. A Day of soup.


Day 14: You can go back to your normal diet. I chose not to and stick with the soup for a few more days and OJ in the morning.  

The recipes: 

Salt water mixture: 1 quart or 4 cups of filtered water, add in two tablespoons of salt. Allow yourself time to take this in, it's not easy.

Lemonade mixture: 1 cup of water, 2 tablespoons of lemonade, 2 tablespoons of grade B maple syurp (I use 1 tablespoon), and 1/8 cayenne pepper or do to taste. *the less maple syrup you use the more weight you will loose. I cut the mixture in half, most people find they are too low of energy to do this. As the days go on the cayenne pepper will get weaker, some people add more in. 

Tea: find a natural laxative herbal tea. Senna leaves are a natural laxative leaf. If you as at the drug store, they'll be able to find it for you. To say this in Japanese there are a few ways to say it: 

便秘に効くお茶はありますか？ (benpi ni kiku ocha wa arimasuka?)  -->Do you have laxative tea?

下剤のお茶はどこにありますか？(gezai no ocha ha doko ni arimasuka?) --> where is laxative tea?

<> Just make sure the ingredients are minimal and show herbal plants on the front. 

Soup:  The soup should be all natural. NO meat. It takes time for your body to adjust to meat so you'll have to reintroduce meat to it slowly. The soup can be made up of any number of veggies: Carrots, broccoli, green peppers, cabbage, mushrooms, Potatoes. Any green veggie is good! Be creative. Take your time let it cook and flavor the broth. Then add spices. Salt and pepper is okay, And a veggie bullion cube it okay (this can be found at a foreign food store in Japan). Just keep the seasoning down. You should be enjoying the natural taste of the veggies. :)

And that's it. If you try it, good luck!! :)

The Cleanse, Last Days 13 and 14. Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning's End.

The Cleanse. Day 13: THE  LAST SUPER: Back In The Office and Back On The Fight.

   Monday. This is the day that soup can be consumed all day long. Finally back on the onto a full day of solids. I woke up at 6:00 and felt amazing. I caught the 6:33 train back home and was in Shimizu by 11:30. The entire day, I felt more awake. I went out looking for supplies for my kids and ended up buying too many supplies for my kitchen. This really isn’t relevant other than the fact that I am beginning to spring forward again. My focus was back. I spent the day cleaning and actually wanted to go for a run pretty bad. I hadn’t felt that way since September. It was a step in the right direction. I had spent so much time cleaning that there was no time for a run but I worked out in the living room for a little while and then went to bed.

The Cleanse Day 14  Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End.

          Tuesday. The alarm rang at 6:00am. At 6:05 my friend was calling me to be sure I was up. I was. I didn’t want to be because I had gone to bed a short time before but I was up. 6:00am. I threw on some gear. Grabbed my ipod suffle. Stretched. By 6:18, I was out the door, running in near darkness. I was too tired to think, to concentrate on my breathing or let it slow me down. In that moment, I was taking in the lyrics of songs I had heard a million times over and actually hearing them. When you run and you hit that high zone of concentration for some reason, the music in your ears will just resonate. It won’t just push you forward to some beat, the words themselves will transcend from the speakers to your legs. The beat will drive your rhythm but the words will aid in your focus and concentration. Eventually, the words become your personal thoughts. When I run, I can do some of my best thinking. It can clear your head for sure. On this morning, I was there albeit it was a short run. Normally, I would run according to distance and not to time but I wanted to be sure to not get behind this morning. I ran to Sunny Mart, I’m not sure how far that is from my house but by the time I got there it was 6:35 so I went back. I got home, did sit ups and push-ups before showering. Got dressed, packed my bag, and was out the door early for work. I arrive at the office at 8:00am, about 30 minutes early. It felt good to be on target for once, to have gotten the some of the personal things I really want to do in my day done, to have the rest of my day after work open for baking or whatever else I want. Running in the morning is a great motatvatior. It gets the ball rolling. You run off any cranky frustrations and begin the day a little more energized. So needless to say, the cleanse may be over but it’s ending has only kicked my butt into over drive. I don’t just want to be skinny, I want to be in shape/healthy. And happy. All of which takes work!

The Cleanse. Days 11 and 12: Phasing Off The Cleanse.

Day 11: OJ Did It (yeah, I said it)!

Saturday. The day of juice. Today was the first day off the cleanse. This has to be done in phases. If you go straight back to eating solids, you can cause stomachaches and bad reactions alike, so phasing yourself is important.

              Day 11 is a day of orange juice only. OJ is a heavy enough substance to get your stomach use to heavy foods again but light enough to keep you from throwing it all up. When I awake this morning, I was excited to taste something but I waited. I waited until I was actually hungry. This is a change from my rushed mornings when I am eating simply just to eat. Around 11:00, I had my first glass of OJ. My taste buds jumped with it’s strong and new flavor. I could taste every element of the juice, the orange, the sugar, and the pulp. The textures smooth and bumpy textures played war in my month. And the fresh orange burst out, cold and satisfying. It was amazing to taste something new.

               The entire day was bliss and it left me feeling pretty chilled out. Later at night, I attended a jungle themed party. A party I was feeling to tired to attend but I pushed myself. My normally over-retentive-festive-self, decided to sit this dress up opportunity out. Putting my ideas for a panda costume on hold, I went in the comfortable jeans and long sleeve shirt/oversized hoodie I had been wearing the entire day. It felt good, to meet up with friends but not feel the need to “put it all on.”  A chill out night of just talking and joking with people was just what I needed to feel like life in Japan wasn’t a novelty. These friends and faces are more than just a moment and more than just a sometimes occasion group of people. They are real friends that I any version of myself will be noticed with, even the calm quiet version. It’s not that I questioned the validity of their friendships before, it is more that I questioned the many sides of me with them. It was great and by the end of the night I was so tired that nothing could have woken me up in the morning before I was ready to wake. That’s rare for me. The smallest sounds stir me.

Day 12: Scoop the Soup! A Day of OJ and Soup.

Sunday. SOUP DAY!  This is pretty much the last day of the cleanse. The entire day was spent making a veggie soup from scratch. The entire day was laid back.

                   Morning: Fresh squeezed OJ. I have never had this before and let me tell you I wish it wasn’t so expensive. I want it every day.

                       Afternoon: OJ for consumption. Then it was a slow day of cooking soup, doing some errands and playing a bunch of rounds of rummy (possibly my favorite card game ever. I kicked ass by the way. Well second round at least).

                      Night: SOUP! Mostly broth. At around 4:00 we ate the freshly made soup. OH GOD how good it was. I can’t believe how good it still is. It dancing in my month, and it’s flavors lingered there for hours as it sat in my belly.

                      THE SOUP: Flavored with a veggie billion cube, salt, black pepper, and cayenne pepper. That’s it. The natural components of veggies added to the flavor. We used: carrots, 3 types of white potatoes, broccoli, cabbage, mushrooms, onions, red peppers, and brown rice.

                          It was divine. The natural flavors of veggies danced around on my tongue like it was a festive party for cinco de mayo. My taste buds were in for an awaking, a treat. The cabbaged had sweetened the pot, while the broccoli made the broth frothy and strong, the brown rice thickened the entire texture and the potatoes added just the right amount of soft salty kick. I had three tiny bowls of this spread out through the night. Great way to end the cleanse.

The Cleanse. Day 10: The End of New Beginnings ( PICTURES Minus 6kg or -13lbs)

Day 10. Friday.

      I woke up feeling positive and energetic though I didn’t have much energy; I had barely rested the night before and admittedly the cleanse was getting to me. The difference is I may have been feeling more tired after doing little things like getting dressed in the morning or cleaning up but I was more positive about them. Not only did I feel more positive but I wanted to clean and accomplish different things throughout the day. They just took a bit more out of me than usual, physically rather than mentally. This cleanse really has been about mind over matter.

        This particular morning I was back teaching at my least favorite junior high school, least favorite because the JTE (Japanese Teacher of English) makes it a bit uncomfortable to teach with him. He’ll zip off right after class not a word said to me. Then when I stay in the classroom with the students, he’ll disappointedly tell me he was waiting for me in the staff room. When I follow his lead and go into the staff room with him, he’ll hurriedly say to stay with the students. It seems no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to get it right. This coupled with his fascination with the trans community as if they are some toy or form of entertainment, just gets me down. On day 10, tired and drained, this is the man I had to work with. Although I could barely muster the energy to write on the board, I found myself being more positive about working with this teacher. It’s not that I suddenly want to work with him; it’s that I suddenly realized that I can work with him and get through the day. In some ways, I realized to lower my expectations within the classrooms I teach in and within the job itself, and  to focus more on my life and time outside of the classroom. I’m not sure this is a win but it has me moving forward. At the end of this day, I was ready to head home. This school is located on the cape of my town, Tosashimizu. The cape is about thirty minutes from my office and I have to say that I do not know how I made it back. I was exhausted and driving probably wasn’t in my best interests. On the way, I passed the office, headed for home, picked up my bag packed for the weekend, and went back to work. At 4:15, I grabbed my bags, clocked out, and hopped on the hour bus east bound toward Nakamura. I was glad to be out of there but I still had a two hour train towards Kochi city, and one more hour train out east passed Kochi to go. By the time I arrived at my destination, I only wanted to rest. The cleanse was over and I was ready to phase out of it. Even after all this Day 10 had me wondering if I should go home, suddenly my thoughts began swing back to staying and what I would do.

         Earlier in the day I received a called from Steven, the PA (prefectual advisor) working in the immigration office in Kochi City. He wanted to see how I was getting along as a vegan in the inaka. Among the number of questions he asked was, “what are you plans for next year if you stay?” I didn’t know what to say to him, I hadn’t thought out that far. I knew exactly what I wanted to be doing and where I wanted to go if I moved back to America. But if I stayed in Japan, what the hell was I going to do besides teach? At some point in the conversation he mentioned that he had spoken with Claire (basically our overseas hiring organization) about placing persons with dietary needs in the inaka of Japan where our survival rate decreases. After our conversation, on the train ride over, I thought about what I would do and it would have to begin now. I’d focus cooking, since it makes me happy. If I stay, I’d attempt to set up some system of support to anyone living in Japan with dietary needs. Support, I so desperately needed as a vegan with no Japanese living in Japan. I’d spend a good deal of my time figuring out where there are places to eat and to purchase food for those who ask for it; and of course, time making vegan awesomness. Then, maybe by August I’d have a list ready for each person with dietary needs, a cooking blog, and e-mail support. And even a tiny business shipping baked goods off to them. Since there are no ovens in small homes in Japan, homes like those of us on the JET program, baking is difficult and time consuming. But I enjoy it, why not spread the joy? Nonetheless, I have some sort of a plan, that has been developing and it began with Steven’s question. Working on a proposal now. J

Day 10 results

Cravings: didn’t even think about them, was ready to transition off the diet.

Before: 52 kg/ 114 lbs After: 46kg/101lbs   Lost: 6kg/ 13 lbs

BEFORE                                                           AFTER

The Cleanse. Day 9. A Day for Plans to begin.

Thursday. Day 9, one more day to go! Thanks to the cleanse the thoughts are rushing.
                                    I woke up feeling tired after a night of no rest on this uncomfortable futons. A few nights back I couldn't sleep so I layered all four of my futons on top of each other. There is just too much hip on this girl and I could feel it crushing into the floor below the futon. It hurt like hell. I wondered, "does this ever happen to Japanese woman?" And I thought about their shape and size, then realized probably not. So I layered every futon I own on top of each other. Last night, I was pissed I just couldn't sleep. I am still waking up with a sore neck and back. My body has had enough; it wants its pillow topped mattress back. And giant cotton pillows. But it can't have them just yet, so I woke up tired/exhausted as I have on many nights of fitting with my sleep quaters. Forcing myself up, I grabbed my favorite hoodie, put on a song, and began the morning salt water routine, as I lost myself in thought. As 8:30 rolled around, I realized I was in a place I liked, so I called the office and took the morning off. This is not an easy task when the one person who speaks English in your office has taken the day off. However, after living here for 6 months, they have begun to learn some of the important english words. So we figured it out.
                                What was I so caught in thought about? Well, the same stuff as yesterday, what to do about next year and with the time left. It just keeps becoming more clear. Thinking of home makes me smile. I want it, the things I plan for it. It's in my blood to struggle and work for my dreams. It feels counter productive here. Even back home, waitressing is more productive. I find time and material to write about. I still have energy, it's a workout, and I am making money (around the same amount as I do now, I hussle). Everyone makes you feel like, "now is the only chance you'll have to see the world. You are young now, when will you get the chance to do this again?" The answer is, I am young I should be doing what I love and do you hear yourselves? You're only going to live, to travel, to love when you are young? I want to do that my whole life. I will make traveling work for me but I won't let it sacrifice my goals. I think home is what I want. Not home as in MA with my family. I love them. But I don't want to be where I am most comfortable. I don't want to wither away in some small town or some run down city, I want to go where I am inspired to push myself. So I think my mind is made up. But I'll take some more time and let my BOE know by April.
                            What will I do with the time left in Japan? I will cook and write about it. Being a vegan in Japan is not easy and it has made me 10x the better cook. Everything has to be made from scratch. So I will cook, I will experiment. This is something I am willing to invest in. I'll post everything on this blog, as a beginners cook book so to speak. And then, I'll edit it all, test it all out, and put it into a cook book. I've been wanting to write one for some time.
                            Wasn't the cleanse to stop thinking about food?  Yes, it was and it's working. Cooking isn't about the food for me, it's about the moment. This is about getting one goal down, a cook book, a damn good one. It will be fun. It might cost me an arm and a leg, but it will be about the fun. I look forward to writing about it and sharing it.
                             As for my writing: I will write. I've been feeling more up to it, particularly today. Well until I argued with my predecessor online. I"ll leave that for another time. Needless to say, I still feel maybe it will start up again.  I've had an old professor running through my head, the first writing professor I had at Emerson who implied I didn't necessarily have it until I retook her class the following semester and she could see she was wrong. But she still didn't love my work because it didn't suite her. That bugged me. Her inability to be objective with student's work. It's been bugging me. I had a countless number of talented writing professors afterwards who congratulated me on my work and who meant the world to me, but I still wonder. I guess life after graduation had me worried about writing outside of being someone's paycheck. But I have been stupid, I have great instincts. I could always read when I professor was being nice and when they meant it. I could read it when it was my own work. I know that it was rarely the case with my work. But in my attempt to stay humble, I second guessed all of it. Now, I just want to write for the shake of it, find a contest and get it done. I'll write when I can get myself there, I'll keep pushing. Today seems like a good day for it. A good day for a slam poem.  I need a desk, a real one and to write in a room I don't sleep in. That's the next step.
                         Worries: I'm a bit worried that the boredom in Japan won't keep this creative flow going and that I will burn out again. I need to be busy, I need to feel it all running through me. And if it can't change here enough. That I know 100% that I will be home come August and moving come September. I think that is what I want. I'll have to struggle to stay stimulated.

Day 9 is just beginning, brushing it off and bringing it on.  And I am so ready to jump start my healthy living/excising again.  :)))

The Cleanse Day 8. Realizations

       Day 8 wednesday. Hump Day! And I feel as if I have gotten over a small hump in this Japan adventure. The cleanse has brought me some sort of clarity. For months, and particularly these last weeks, I have been trying to decide what to do about Japan for next year, stay or go. It hit me, this morning: the world isn't what's important if it only makes me momentarily happy, what's important are my dreams and doing what makes me happy. My career might not be able to be career at all until I'm 40 because being a writer takes time but this adventure is putting a pause on that. I just want to be creative again and write something every day. It is something that has come naturally to me since I can remember. Literally, I have been writing since I knew how to. I walked around my house with a Lisa Frank notebook, which had a brightly printed cartoon yellow lab on the cover and a myriad of bright colors rainbowed behind it. I wrote day after day in that notebook. I couldn't have been older than 5. When I got older, I poured everything I felt and didn't share, onto pages. At 11, I spent every night writing in a notebook. Struggling with being some sort of outcast in my small school, which began in 2nd grade when I told my popular group of friends where to go when they wouldn't stop being rude to people. I suppose, I have always found my own path and my writing has always followed me to it. I miss it. I have never been this detached from it when I still want to write. Japan, has been in a way, a putting off of my creativity and I don't like it. I thought this year would allow me to write more, to send my stuff out to contests and get published but this year has been nothing like I imagined. There just isn't that creative vibe here. The job is mind-numbing and gives me nothing to write about. I miss writing and feeling good about it. And if I can't do that out in the world than I need to go home. I still want to make changes, I'm going to move to the opposing coastline. It will still be an adventure just one that keeps me busy and makes me feel like I am working towards something, not away from it.  I'm giving myself until April to decide for sure if I will stay or go. But today, I realized what I want.
        Basically, that was day 8. It was the same old get up, do the salt water, drink the lemonade, drink the juice, feel exhausted but more energized feeling, drink the tea. Repetition of the last few days. Oh and I realized, this blog will probably be a vegan cooking blog after this cleanse. Get ready, this is my practice cook book. Sorry, this posts have been rather self involved but I guess the cleanse is a rather self involved process.

Cravings: It was a good day. I wanted saltine crackers, and chocolate over raisins and cheerios. And bread. raisin bread.

The Cleanse, Day 7, 2/1 A Day of Bliss.

       Day 7. Tuesday.  If you google the cleanse online, many sites will call day 7 something like "The Day of Bliss." Supposedly, those of us on this diet will feel some sort of natural high during day 7. I've completed the diet once before and even I was wondering what the #$^& they were talking about. But this morning I woke up feeling amazing. I had a ton of energy and for the first time in months, I was smiling on my own for no reason at all.   I put on my favorite hoodie which my mom just sent to me and which I do a good bit of my writing in (don't ask), I ran down stairs made the salt water mixture, came back upstairs and drank it the disgusting thing without much thought to it.  Simply, I watched a show and then play music. I just sat and thought about life, my life. And I just felt good for once.
       Day 7 hasn't really been a struggle. I just want to nap a little and then write. Biking was easier today the yestrday. I  called into work late so when I biked this morning, there were no obachans to compete with but I was much faster today. It felt good, but tiring once again. More tiring than simply being out of shape would make someone. I know it's the diet. Walking up the stairs to work after the bike ride, feels exasperating. There is no way this short daily climb to the office would tire me out off the diet. On it it's a huge struggle.
        The  only problem with day 7 is I have had a headache for 4 days now, and I supects that for the next 3 I will continue to have one.  Outside of this diet, my headaches can last weeks. I just usually take a sinus pill strong enough to knock it out but there are no meds allowed on this detox diet soo here I go again. Waiting it out. It's annoying.
       In all, day 7 is easy aside from the exhaustion I feel the closer I get to the end of the day.  But I began today to realize what I might want to do about the decision to re-contract and stay in Japan or go home. It's just a beginning, still filled with doubt and confusion.  Hopefully, it becomes more clear. Maybe I just realized the things that keep me happy. Who knows.


Symptoms: Towards the end of the day, I began to feel exhausted all together. And my congestion felt worse.

Cravings: The same sandwhich as yesterday. Cheerios, every kind you can imagine. Raisin Brand.