Day 8 wednesday. Hump Day! And I feel as if I have gotten over a small hump in this Japan adventure. The cleanse has brought me some sort of clarity. For months, and particularly these last weeks, I have been trying to decide what to do about Japan for next year, stay or go. It hit me, this morning: the world isn't what's important if it only makes me momentarily happy, what's important are my dreams and doing what makes me happy. My career might not be able to be career at all until I'm 40 because being a writer takes time but this adventure is putting a pause on that. I just want to be creative again and write something every day. It is something that has come naturally to me since I can remember. Literally, I have been writing since I knew how to. I walked around my house with a Lisa Frank notebook, which had a brightly printed cartoon yellow lab on the cover and a myriad of bright colors rainbowed behind it. I wrote day after day in that notebook. I couldn't have been older than 5. When I got older, I poured everything I felt and didn't share, onto pages. At 11, I spent every night writing in a notebook. Struggling with being some sort of outcast in my small school, which began in 2nd grade when I told my popular group of friends where to go when they wouldn't stop being rude to people. I suppose, I have always found my own path and my writing has always followed me to it. I miss it. I have never been this detached from it when I still want to write. Japan, has been in a way, a putting off of my creativity and I don't like it. I thought this year would allow me to write more, to send my stuff out to contests and get published but this year has been nothing like I imagined. There just isn't that creative vibe here. The job is mind-numbing and gives me nothing to write about. I miss writing and feeling good about it. And if I can't do that out in the world than I need to go home. I still want to make changes, I'm going to move to the opposing coastline. It will still be an adventure just one that keeps me busy and makes me feel like I am working towards something, not away from it. I'm giving myself until April to decide for sure if I will stay or go. But today, I realized what I want.
Basically, that was day 8. It was the same old get up, do the salt water, drink the lemonade, drink the juice, feel exhausted but more energized feeling, drink the tea. Repetition of the last few days. Oh and I realized, this blog will probably be a vegan cooking blog after this cleanse. Get ready, this is my practice cook book. Sorry, this posts have been rather self involved but I guess the cleanse is a rather self involved process.
Cravings: It was a good day. I wanted saltine crackers, and chocolate over raisins and cheerios. And bread. raisin bread.
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